When the rapids of life cut new unexpected paths that you didn’t know were within you...
So, I guess I will start off this tale back in February 2015 when my life took an unexpected plot twist. I will not get into the details for they are not what is important here but for those of you who know me, know that it was a moment that brought discomfort and a bit of heartache to my life. Thus forcing me to reevaluate what it is that makes me, well, me.
This out of the blue event catapulted me head first into yoga — yoga every damn day actually. And for the next 3 months, I got my ass up every day and showed up on my mat. It was that one hour a day that brought some form of comfort to the emotional hurricane that was raging inside me.
Before this, I would say I was an occasional user of yoga, something to add a different element of fitness to my life, and was this for the past 10 years from first being introduced to the practice. But now I looked at yoga differently, I saw and felt a deeper connection there, something that I had never noticed before. It intrigued me. I became obsessed with feeling the peaceful calmness and ease that came to me when I would get on my mat, and it only became stronger as the days went on.
I started this pursuit to heal myself from the inside out and now that I was almost there I wanted that feeling for something much more deeper. So, as February 2016 quickly approached and now almost a year of many hours logged on my mat I decided to look into a possible yoga retreat, and what better place lends its magic to such a beautiful practice of yoga and surf? Costa Rica of course.
In trusting my journey I patiently researched and read reviews and weighed all my options. Looked into all kinds of retreats, but one that kept popping up was Blue Osa. Something about this just kept feeling right as if the universe was pointing me in this direction with a giant neon sign saying ‘PICK THIS ONE,’ so I guess I had to listen. So, it was done, booked, and all I had to do was wait for June 3rd.
Two days before I was to set off on this life changing adventure (at least that’s what I kept telling myself this is what it was going to be), I got what I'm sure everyone feels before they are about to embark on a pretty epic adventure.
"I'm not going. You can't make me."
This was followed by a ‘WTF’ from momma bear and a beautiful quote, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but how you overcome fear.” And then she said, "You're going!" What would I do without this badass lady is beyond me!
As I sat at Pearson Airport waiting to get on my flight with a million butterflies in my stomach, I met Morgan. AHHHHHH Morgan, the other Canadian. Through the anticipated departure of the trip, we all found our fellow yogis on Facebook that were also heading to Blue Osa for this magical journey and Mo and I both checked in on FB to gate 25 direct flight to San Jose, CR at the same time. So here is the first person I now know, as I am about to head off to introduce myself to this brand new beginning.
As the 17 of us all started to arrive at Blue Osa, I couldn’t help but feel like we were 17 people showing up at a new school for the first day of class. As intimidating as this sounds it was oddly comforting knowing everyone else must have been feeling some sort of anxiety coming into such a new unknown environment not knowing anyone or knowing what lies ahead for us. We all were coming together for a common goal but for so many different reasons. As the first day came to an end, the sweet chatter of everyone sharing their stories and getting to know one another was as perfect as you could imagine. It felt from day one that this group was meant to go on this journey over the next 28 days together!
Now to introduce that laugh, that full from the belly purely authentic laugh, our yogi Aaron. I want to say that this man's smile and genuine presence was what finally made me say "YES" to Blue Osa. It was something I could just feel through the pictures on the website, it drew me in and from the second I met him I was captivated! This was now my Yogi, our Yogi, and Aaron was going to be the Yogi that lead us on this path for the next month of yoga, self-discovery and eventually leading us to BLISS. (I will readdress the idea of Bliss a later on in this story)
As Day Two started at 4:30 am with morning silence and a sunrise, we all headed up to the yoga studio for our first morning of meditation. Aaron led us through an hour and half of breathing exercises, relaxation exercises, and finally introducing our first moments of stillness. It was something that I was very nervous for, the early mornings and the stillness; this is not something that comes easily to an artistic overactive imagination such as my mind. But this is what I signed up for so this is what I'm going to give my all to. I believe there are no real rules in meditation, there are so many different ways to accomplish the end result of what I guess is presence and peace.
I will fill you in on what I got out of this new practice, is to focus on my breathing while allowing productive authentic thoughts float in and out of my mind as they wish. Now having said that, I guess this is where I introduce ‘Airstream Dreams.’
It was on this very first morning of meditation where this curious little idea introduced itself to me, well not the entire end result but the airstream itself. I saw it as if it were surfing in on the waves to the shore as I was looking out at the ocean watching it playfully in a way dance in front of me. Yes, the airstream was dancing in my mind, this is the bazaar way meditation works it can make airstreams dance among the waves, who knew.
Throughout our first week, we learned so much and did so much yoga. I thought that this is my happy place and how could I ever leave Blue Osa? The food was 5+stars and the staff was so incredibly welcoming and accommodating, we talked about Sutras and had donkey work days.
The 17 of us plus Aaron bonded over dinner every night talking about what we learned that day or the people we loved back home or our new-found friendships that were blossoming right in front of us. It was all so truly magical. But every morning when Brian would ring that tiny bell at 4:30 am my eyes opened big and I was ready for that meditation, sometimes I'd already be up waiting.
Who would have ever thought id be excited to get up at 4:30 am to sit still for an hour and a half in silence to just sit there and think? Well, we surprise ourselves every day. And that I did, I couldn’t wait to sit there and visit with my idea, to talk to it and help it grow and become something significant.
We created this special language together this idea and me, like we were in on our very own little secret of something that was on its way to being a magical thing. I fell in love with it to say the least, because the idea and myself were both putting such genuine energy towards the creation of it, towards ‘Airstream Dreams’.
Throughout the month I started briefly sharing my meditation thoughts with my fellow yogis. I thought maybe I'm doing it wrong I felt selfish for wanting to only think about ‘Airstream Dream’.
I thought, "I don’t even have an airstream and this is silly to put all this energy into something that isn’t even a reality to me."
So, one morning I forced myself to think about other stuff and I'll tell you that was my worst morning of meditation. It felt like work and it was hard work. So the next morning I organically allowed my thoughts to present themselves to me and low and behold who was waiting patiently for me to come to my senses was my good old friend.
I promised to never shut those thoughts out of my mind like that ever again and together we moved forward. (You're probably wondering why I'm talking as if I'm in a relationship with my idea, and it's because I am in a way. This idea introduced itself to me and I agreed to embark on this journey with it and nurture it and give it a life form so it can become what it has dreamed of its whole existence, I'm giving it its life purpose. Read ‘Big Magic’ by Elizabeth Gilbert and you will understand this way of thinking)
Moving forward, I'd say around the middle of our last week I just started flirting with the idea of looking at airstreams for sale online in my free time. It’s definitely something that’s a big job but I was in no position to buy one right now anyway, I was in Costa Rica for goodness sakes, I just wanted to window shop. But then it happened, THE ONE, she was a beautiful 17foot 1967 Caravel top condition and she lived in Colorado Springs.
I sent the link to my mom and said ‘this is the one’ she responds ‘the one for what?’ I told her the airstream I want to buy for my traveling Airstream Photo Booth.
My mom laughed and said, "How are you going to get that? You're in Costa Rica for the next 2 and half months!" (One thing about my family is that we are big advocates of the pipe dream and always staying curious and hungry for living a creative life)
That night I messaged the number on the ad, I was in CR, in the jungle, off the grid and had one way this guy was going to respond was if he had iMessage. "Is the airstream still available?"
He responded within 20 min saying it was, but there were other interested people. I said I'm currently in CR but let me see if I can find someone so come take a look at it ASAP. That night at dinner I made an announcement, asking if anyone knew anyone that lived in Colorado Springs that could do me a huge favour. And Brian piped up and said he did and would ask his friend Catharine for me. After dinner, I had her email and sent off my request of what I needed her to do and she was
After dinner, I had her email and sent off my request of what I needed her to do and she was on board, team ‘Airstream Dreams’. She turned around the next day sent me a bunch of videos and pictures and left it in my hands.
THANK YOU to this wonderful stranger who did something nice for me, a crazy artist with crazy dreams. It was now decision day I told my mom it's now or never and I think I wanted to go for it. With the blessing of my folks I was about to officially sign the contract with my IDEA and go headfirst into a partnership with it after getting to know the idea over the past month throughout my morning meditations, and endless talks with my fellow yogis (who were beyond supportive but I'm not sure many knew what I was really talking about half the time. Haha you want to buy what and put a what in it and do what ???? )
I was ready! But the deal still had to be done and I was still in CR.
So I want to go back a bit to BLISS. Yogi Aaron mentioned many times throughout our month spent together that we were going to find BLISS here at Blue Osa, in fact, he guaranteed it! He said that if we were following his guidance that it would lead us to our one version of BLISS, so I followed cause who doesn’t want to be lead to BLISS? And on our last day in our last practice, he said that after this class we would be there.
Well, we did the last class and I got up from savasana and nothing, no bliss. Where was my bliss? Did I do it wrong? Then I got all nervous that I had wasted all my time thinking about this silly airstream idea that I missed the BLISS bus and got left behind.
I hid my disappointment about not feeling BLISS and continued on with our last day at Blue Osa.
Insert JaHendo, a very interesting free spirit that had joined the Blue Osa family our last week as a permaculture volunteer for the resort. He himself was a yoga teacher as well as tarot card reader, and we all thought it would be fun to get our cards read by the pool on our last free afternoon. I was the last to go and we sat there for almost an hour chatting about ‘Airstream Dreams’ and how this idea had blossomed over the month spent at Blue Osa.
Then he read my cards, there were 3 of them. I'm not going to get into the meaning or what they were, because let's all agree to take that with a grain of salt, but also its fun to relate random occurrences to what’s going on in your life, so I am on both sides of the fence on this one. Needless to say, I had 3 specific meanings from those cards that I could relate to ‘Airstream Dreams’ if it were to happen.
Right before dinner, we had our final graduation ceremony that was one of the most special significant things I think I have been apart of to date. We all were invited to show up with an intention to bring with us from Blue Osa as we went on from this incredible journey. Why not come to the table with those 3 intentions introduced to me earlier in the day, and that I did.
It became actually significant to the end of my time-spent because I was bringing that importance to my idea that I had nurtured over the last month through those words. As our graduation ceremony came to an end and our final dinner was underway I got a message from the owner of the airstream, it read this “YOUR JUST BOUGHT YOURSELF AN AIRSTREAM”
My mom had sent a deposit on my behalf and then she messaged me minutes after and said “YOU JUST BOUGHT A TRAILER! Be home in a week to go get her!” I sat there for a moment in disbelief that ‘Airstream Dreams’ was happening.
And guess what? All of a sudden came over me was BLISS. There it was, that magic Aaron said I would know and experience before I left. I didn’t know how BLISS was supposed to feel like but this was it, I meditated and manifested this idea organically and authentically in this pristine environment that was itself BLISS. It was as if the whole month made sense in one rush of emotion and hitting me all at once, I did experience BLISS, I did ‘do it right’ so to speak. Not that there’s a right or wrong way to come to a life of BLISS but I think there’s a key and that key is different for everyone, but if you're open to it and allow yourself to believe that you deserve BLISS it is possible for you to achieve it. I was lucky enough for this year’s journey to unfold as it did and it brought me to Blue Osa, it was this perfect little incubator for me to allow my mind to open up and allow my imagination to create my future and through that, I found my BLISS, it was all BLISS.
As I embark on my journey through Airstream Dreams I am grateful for my time spent at Blue Osa it will be where this journey blossomed, and everyone there, the 17 yogis + Aaron contributed something to this new beginning for me and there will be a huge part of the Blue Osa spirit within it.
I feel so blessed to be able to live an authentic creative life and have amazing people there to support me along the way, for without them I would not be able to embark on these adventures. They are scary as hell but damn worth the ride.
Mom and Dad thank you for seeing the unique gifts within me while nurturing and supporting them, you understand I'm not meant for a traditional life and you believe that following your passions is the most important BLISS you can offer yourself and without your support this life would not be possible, I am lucky to have you crazy kids as my folks!